so i really suck at keeping a blog


i just deleted all the posts that had to do with my ex-girlfriend. i really should just delete the whole thing probably. 


There's something in my wall

There's something in one of the walls of my apartment. I can hear it. I hope it's not mice. I don't want them to be killed.  I hope whatever it is doesn't get killed. Maybe if it's a kitten my landlord will let me keep it. I don't hear meowing though. Just scratches. It's in a inner wall, too, so it's not like it's an outside wall. I wonder if my upstairs neighbors hear anything. 

I didn't do a very good job of introducing myself last time I was here. I'm not very good at this. I don't know what else to add though. What do you think?



so i've been fairly absent from here. for like, two and a half years. i've been reintroduced to this blogging platform by a good friend. i've decided to give it another go. i'm not very good at it as i keep getting distracted. i'm listening to cabin pressure and it's hilarious.

this is really ridiculous.

i deleted all of my posts except my 'in memory' of katie kofoot.

i don't feel particularly witty right now. that's not particularly good for blogging. no one wants to read an un-witty blog.

i have an interview today at target. i am not looking forward to it. i don't want to work at target. i want to work at one of the other 14 places i applied to.

okay, i'm so bad at journaling that i broke this post over two days because i got distracted.

i'm in class right now and there's a boy who talks far too much.

i also forgot to do my homework.

and i'm typing really quietly.

it's a listening class and i'm not listening at all.


either way, i'm not introducing myself very well.

hi. my name is katie. i'm 23. i have 8 cats and 8 tattoos. i'm going to school for my second bachelor's degree in communication. i want to be a college professor some day. i like to write and read and doodle owls on my papers. my favorite color is purple. i'm really tired as i write this.

that's it. that's me for now.


Too Young to Say Goodbye

My second post was supposed to be a mildly entertaining anecdote about myself. Unfortunately, life got in the way and changed my schedule.

Friday evening, one of my friends died. She was in a head on collision with an old man who was driving the wrong way in the wrong lane on the highway.

Her twin sister is still alive. They are 21. Only about a month and a half older than myself.

Twenty one is too young to say goodbye. It wasn't even the sort of accident you could explain and validate. She wasn't texting (she didn't even own a cellphone, last I knew), she wasn't drunk, she wasn't speeding. There was a sheriff's car in front of her. He swerved out of the way and avoided the old man. There was a prisoner transport vehicle behind her. That vehicle hit my friend's car from behind.

My friend's name is Katie. Same as me. Her twin sister's name is Kristina. We used to jokingly call ourselves the KKK. It's missing a member now. Kri
stina and I are good friends. Or, we used to be, in high school. Everyone's drifted apart since then, of course. But I was always better friends with Kristina than I was with Katie. I can remember the last time I saw Kristina. But I don't remember the last time I saw Katie. I don't remember the last time I talked to Katie. And now I'm forced to say goodbye to her. I'm not ready.

I can't even imagine what Kristina is going through. It's one thing to lose a sibling. But it was her twin. Her other half. My heart hurts as much for Kristina as it does for Katie. What is it like to be the survivor? How do you deal with that? I know there is such thing as survivor's guilt. But what does it feel like? How do you live through it?

Anyway, this is for you, Katie. You are terribly missed.

November 15, 1990 - January 27, 2012